How to develop children's autonomy?

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Developing children's autonomy means enabling them to grow in confidence, assert themselves and achieve their full potential. Autonomy isn't just about "doing it yourself" in practical terms - getting dressed, putting things away, preparing a snack - it also encompasses a deeper dimension: learning to make choices, to manage emotions, to take one's place among others.

From the earliest age, autonomy is a fundamental lever for development. It fosters self-esteem, encourages initiative, and gives children the keys to becoming active players in their own learning and life. For this to happen, however, the environment and the adults around them need to be supportive.

How can autonomy be cultivated both at school and at home? Here are a few tips based on active educational approaches, inspired in particular by Montessori pedagogy, which has made the development of this autonomy a real pillar.
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What is autonomy in children?

When we talk about autonomy in children, we often think of practical autonomy: knowing how to dress, shower, brush one's teeth, put away one's belongings, prepare one's schoolbag, eat alone or tie one's shoes. This dimension, though fundamental, is only one aspect of autonomy in its fullest sense.

Emotional autonomy is just as essential. It means learning to recognize one's emotions, to make age-appropriate decisions, and to feel capable of acting for oneself - not to please or under the watchful eye of an adult, but in accordance with one's own needs.

There's a third form of autonomy, often less visible but just as decisive: autonomy of thought. This is the ability to form one's own opinion, to question, to exercise one's critical mind, not simply to repeat or obey, but to understand, to choose, to construct one's own reasoning.

As Marie Robert, co-founder of Esclaibes international bilingual schools and philosopher, points out:

"The idea is not for the child to do to please us, depending on the adult, his availability and presence, but rather for him to have the means to set his own laws."

In Montessori pedagogy, autonomy is considered a pillar. Maria Montessori herself made it a cornerstone of her educational vision, with the famous phrase:

"Teach me to do it alone."

Above all, by enabling children to do things for themselves, we give them the opportunity to feel pride, joy and confidence in their abilities. This link between autonomy and self-esteem is crucial: the more competent children feel, the more they dare to try, to persevere, to open up to the world. And the more actively they take part in their learning, the more they derive a lasting sense of accomplishment.
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7 pillars for developing children's autonomy

In the Esclaibes schools, developing autonomy is a pedagogical priority. It is based on 7 complementary pillars, inspired to a large extent by Montessori pedagogy, but enriched by other active approaches that make the educational project unique: openness to the world, critical thinking, creativity. These pillars are implemented on a daily basis, in every classroom, so that children can learn to act and think for themselves.

Everything is designed to enable children to gradually become autonomous, in a caring, structuring environment. The environment, the attitude of the adults, the teaching materials and the organization of the classes all contribute to encouraging children to do things for themselves, at their own pace.
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1 - An environment designed to enable children to do things on their own

Every detail counts in a classroom designed for autonomy. Furniture is adapted to children's size, equipment is accessible and instructions are clear. Children can move around freely, choose their own activities and tidy up without depending on adults. This fosters a sense of competence: "I can do it on my own".

And for older children, in our schools, we have developed work plans that reinforce this autonomy in learning, while respecting the child's rhythm.
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2 - The adult's role: facilitator, not driver

The adult is not there to do things for the child, but to accompany him in his discoveries. They do not direct the child's actions. They observe, secure the environment, guide if necessary, but do not intervene at every stage.

As Marie Robert reminds us:

"The aim is not to do whatever we want, because there's a framework, rituals and rules. It's more about understanding what we're doing and allowing the child to do it alone."

3 - Equipment designed for autonomous experimentation

The materials used in the classroom, mainly Montessori materials, are self-correcting. Thanks to this built-in "error control", children don't necessarily need external validation from an adult. They can see their mistakes and successes for themselves. This freedom to experiment, try again and improve develops concentration, perseverance, the ability to learn by oneself and self-confidence.

4 - Multi-age classes, a powerful lever for autonomy

Working in a multi-grade class allows everyone to progress at their own pace. Younger children observe and draw inspiration, while older children take responsibility and help out. In multi-age classes, autonomy is built in a framework of cooperation, responsibility and mutual respect.

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5 - Natural, reassuring progress

Autonomy is not imposed: it is built step by step, in a climate of emotional security. Each child evolves at his or her own pace, according to maturity and needs. Successes are valued, and mistakes respected. This helps create the emotional and cognitive security that enables children to take initiative and open up fully to their learning.
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6 - Exercising critical thinking skills

Being independent also means learning to think for oneself. From the earliest age, children are encouraged to express their point of view, to argue and to listen to that of others. This includes philosophy workshopsgroup discussions and exchanges on issues that concern them. This development of independent reasoning is a fundamental lever for confidence and emancipation.
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7. Creativity: dare to imagine and express yourself

At Esclaibes schools, creativity is a pillar in its own right. It's not limited to artistic expression: it encompasses the ability to imagine, to propose ideas, to explore new solutions. Through projects, presentations and workshops, children develop their personal thinking, defend causes close to their hearts, and learn to speak in public. We believe this intellectual and expressive autonomy is essential in an ever-changing world.
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4 tips for developing your child's independence at home

School is not the only place where autonomy can develop. At home too, children can learn to do things for themselves, provided they are accompanied in a caring, clear and encouraging way. Here are a few ways to help children become autonomous, and to foster this autonomy on a daily basis.
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1 - Establish age-appropriate rituals and responsibilities

From a very early age, simple rituals help children to find their bearings and feel part of their day: setting the table, getting dressed on their own, putting away toys or their schoolbag. These small, repeated tasks are opportunities to feel useful, competent and responsible. These rituals evolve with children's age, abilities and skills.
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2 - Enabling initiative and supervised freedom of choice

Autonomy also means being able to choose, within a framework set by the adult. For example:

• "Today, it's not warm outside. You can choose one of these sweaters to dress up in."
• "Do you pick a story from the books we got from the library?"

This supervised freedom of choice allows children to exercise their will while feeling secure.

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3 - Supporting without replacing

It's sometimes quicker to do things for your child... but that doesn't help them progress. It's better to take the time to show them a gesture, then let them try it on their own, even if it means starting again. The adult is there to support, not to intervene at every stage. One of the pitfalls of applying this advice is that the adult's time is not the child's time.

To help you understand this difference in perception of the passage of time, the children's album Allez, on y va by Amélie Graux, published by Les Arènes, is very interesting. Accompanying children without doing things for them means slowing down, taking time.
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4 - Leave room for error and reward effort

Making mistakes is part of learning. Autonomy means daring, trying and sometimes failing. It's essential to value effort, perseverance and the desire to learn over perfection. It's also the key to building real self-confidence.

Simple, everyday moments are opportunities to nurture self-esteem, responsibility and pride in acting alone. With time, patience and plenty of encouragement, every child can become the actor of his or her own development.
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Autonomy and well-being: a virtuous circle

Autonomy not only benefits learning: it's also an essential source of well-being. When a child feels able to act on his own, at his own pace and with success, he naturally develops a positive self-image.

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An autonomous child is more confident

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An autonomous child is less dependent on adult supervision. Being able to choose, to try, to make mistakes, to try again... these experiences build confidence. An autonomous child does not constantly seek the adult's approval: he acts because he understands the meaning, because he feels competent. They are more daring, and open up to the world with inner security.

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An independent child understands rules better

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He lives these rules from the inside. Rather than obeying an externally imposed instruction, the autonomous child is led to integrate the meaning of the rules: why tidy up, why wait his turn, why respect others. They are not subjected to the framework, but rather inhabit it. This is a profound apprenticeship in responsibility.

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Autonomous children become active players in their own learning and social life.

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Autonomy prepares children to become active, involved and curious students. In class and in everyday life, they participate, get involved, make suggestions and cooperate. This nurtures their motivation, their ability to learn and their relationships with others.

By developing their autonomy, children build much more than a skill: they build themselves. And that, without doubt, is the greatest achievement of all.

Developing a child's independence is not a race to performance, nor is it a goal to be achieved at all costs. It's a gradual process, requiring time, patience... and above all, trust. Trust on the part of the adult towards the child, but also trust on the part of the child towards himself, a trust that is built day after day through successful experiences, kind encouragement and respect for mistakes.

Active pedagogies, such as Montessori, offer a structured, reassuring framework to support this process. They place children at the heart of their learning, respecting their pace, needs and impulses. By allowing them to act, choose, make mistakes and try again, they help shape confident, responsible and fulfilled individuals.

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In Esclaibes schools, autonomy doesn't stop at practical or emotional autonomy. It extends to the autonomy to think for oneself, to imagine solutions, to invent, to create. As Marie Robert reminds us

"Creativity isn't an occupational activity. It's what allows us to invent another world."

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This is why the Esclaibes schools do not claim to be exclusively Montessori schools. Their specificity is based above all on active pedagogy, bilingualism and creativity seen as the power to act, an essential lever in the face of tomorrow's challenges.
Cultivating autonomous thinking means offering children the freedom to imagine, question and construct meaning. An invaluable asset for becoming enlightened, committed citizens of the world.

Autonomy isn't just about "doing it yourself": it's about becoming yourself, thinking for yourself... and creating the world of tomorrow.

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